I’ve already written a little on the subject of journaling under the About page on my website. I was prompted to write about it in more detail in the form of a blog post because I was recently asked; Why do people do it? How do you even start to journal? What’s the point?
I want to reiterate that it was suggested to me to start journaling by a fab friend – it wasn’t something I discovered myself. This one bit of advice has CHANGED MY LIFE. It helps to clear my mind and free’s me of tension.
The image featured in this post is of the inside cover of my journal and on that is a drawing of me by an ex-colleague of mine called Martin. I worked with him at Practice Plan. He is a really talented graphic designer and artist. It was Martin who came up with my favourite nick name ‘Glam Tan’, well it was originally ‘Glamourous Tanya,’ as you can see! But then over time it evolved to become much ‘snappier’! My colleagues at Practice Plan used to take the p*ss out of me for wearing a little handbag at events I was managing – ALL THE TIME…. I never took it off 😅 It was because I had everything I needed in that little bag, as a true events professional does; my phone, a pen and piece of paper, lip balm, paracetmol, a mirror, my purse (with actual cash), hand sanitiser (before it became a proper thing because of Covid), a USB stick and finally it had a handy front pocket where I could easily attach a walkie talkie or talk back comms. Sadly the bag is no more – it started to disintegrate. Anyway, I digress…
I thought it would be useful to share my top three tips to start your journey to journaling, in case it is something you have thought about but not sure how to go about it. And if you have never thought about it before… I would strongly recommend you do!
TIP #1 : Be strategic and specific all at the same time
It can be a bit daunting to unleash all your thoughts on to paper. I’d start with being a little strategic about what you want to gain as a result of journaling. Whilst I’m using the word ‘strategic’ as if it’s a corporate task, it is actually the best kind of baby step to take before you get to a point of doing a complete brain dump on the page. So start with the bigger picture – how do you want to feel overall – and be specific – do you want to feel ‘lighter’ because bearing that specific load feels heavier and heavier each day? Do you want to feel ‘clearer’ about the direction you want to take with a specific situation? Do you want to feel ‘better’ about a specific aspect of yourself? Notice I have used the word ‘specific’ with every example here…if you’re not specific (can I write specific any more times here?! 😬😅) about whatever it is you want to resolve, then your journal becomes like a ‘dear diary’ with no aim. I realise I’m stating being strategic on the one hand and being specific on the other, which is a bit of an oxymoron… in this case being strategic and specific is intertwined, you need to get an idea of the bigger picture first, to allow you to focus in on what part of the picture needs to be edited to make it look better for all time!
TIP #2 : Mind mapping is your mate!
Once you’ve ascertained the point of your journal (which will change and evolve over time, depending on what situations you have resolved) then you need to get more specific with the specifics. This is brain dump time. It’s about drilling down, getting to the nitty gritty of why you’re feeling the way you are about a certain situation or even a certain person. Start off with that question you’re always asking yourself – and deep down you know what it is, even if on the surface you feel you don’t. This requires you to let go of your ego, to let go of the fear and get comfortable with being uncomfortable – because you need to be able to sit with your thoughts. To help you get to a point of sitting with your thoughts, I will suggest to you what my counsellor once suggested to me… she said to put my hand on my heart and let myself feel what I feel. And, in case you’re not familiar with what a mind map is, you draw a circle in the middle of the page and within that circle you write either the situation you want to resolve or that question you’re always asking yourself. Then you draw arrows out from the circle and write the first thoughts that come to your mind, without any hesitation. DO NOT OVER THINK IT. You basically let rip. You’ll be amazed what comes out.
TIP #3
Identify trends. It is highly likely that you will have more than one situation you want to resolve in your life and more than one question you’re always asking yourself. So repeat the above for each situation and/or question as time goes by. Then every month or so, look back at what you have written in your mind maps and see if you can spot any trends. Are there any patterns of the same type of thoughts for each situation or question? Are you repeating certain negative thoughts or noting repeat behaviours (that are likely to be unhelpful or harmful) when trying to deal with that situation? Are you even trying to deal with it or are you just living with it? Maybe you’ll realise that you’re being consistently treated in an unacceptable way, but it wasn’t something you acknowledged until you wrote it down. Maybe it’s you who is treating someone else in an unacceptable way. Writing your thoughts, helps you to organise them. It gives you clarity in a way that nothing else can – but only if you’re willing to do the work and as the youth say, ‘get woke’. Yes, talking to friends is always a great way to help you, yet sometimes friends can be biased, they may tell you what you want to hear so as to not ‘rock the boat.’ Whatever it is you’re experiencing, may be as a result of how you are behaving and that may need to change for the better.
AND NOW WHAT?
So once you start journaling and you have identified the trends, then what do you do? Well, it might be that you can find books or articles to read up on about this particular situation or question you have asked yourself that can help you with figuring out the next steps. Or a listen to a podcast or watch a YouTube video that discusses this.
I would also encourage you to invest the time and – if you can afford to do so – money, in counselling. In my next blog post, I’ll share advice on how to find the right counsellor for you. In the mean time, if you have read this and need help now, there is an online counselling service called Better Help that I’ve recently heard about as both Elizabeth Day and Russell Brand have talked about them on their podcasts.
Feel free to message me via the contact form here or comment below if after reading this you’d like further advice on journaling. In the spirit of service… I am happy to help. 😁
